


Lights

by emotionaltrashs



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Gay, I'm so sorry for writing this, Kisses, Love, M/M, Sad, Snow, but SAD gay, i guess, not for the faint hearted, sorry if it's confusing aa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 11:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8799148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionaltrashs/pseuds/emotionaltrashs
Summary: Yuuri and Victor watch the lights.





	

Victor was never this late.

Yuuri's stomach twisted with anxiety, and he, gently removing his glasses from behind his ears, breathed out a small breath, visible like fog, or smoke, slipping from in between his chapped lips.

He fell back against the bench, willing his heartbeat to steady. His skin against his sweater, under his coat, was still cold, and his arms crossed tightly across his frigid body did only a bit to quell the numbness rising in him.

As a skater, he'd learned to resist the cold- not that the rinks were nearly as cold as the weather. 

What could Victor have called him here for? Above the highways, to a bench under a streetlight that was on its last leg? What business could his coach have with him in this place?

Yuuri tenderly set his glasses back on his head, the blur of red and green lights of cars and stoplights coming into focus. He craned his neck to look over the hill, in which a crowd of lights indicated traffic-- the blinking lights of ambulance suddenly struck him. He breathed out softly, the heat of his breath rising in front of him and disappearing just as soon. He forced his gaze to the other side of the road, swallowing.

There, a red stoplight, just then turning green. Cars passed by in a blur, heading for home. Yuuri turned back to the tragic scene, the ambulance now gone, its blinking lights absent, and traffic continuing as normal. Everything as it should be. 

The person in the ambulance, perhaps they had family. They may have been on their way home. And as their injury- possibly their death- meant to the hundred cars below as a small inconvenience, a stall in their travel, it meant the universe to a mother or a child or a friend. 

Yuuri's breath caught in his throat and he gasped, his eyes tearing with the realization that each life held or holds value; how one man was just a speck, one car was just a red light among many, but how one of those small specks could be the life of another speck, another light.

Yurri trembled with this thought, somehow so powerful in his mind, tears threatening to spill onto his red cheeks. He wasn't so cold anymore. 

He sat, arms crossed tightly, puffing warm air from his lips and watching it fade, pondering the questions that he never had the time to ponder, and wondering, plainly, _Where is Victor? ___

What time was it? Yuuri dug into his pocket, retrieving his phone. He clicked it on and glanced at the time: 09.58 PM..

He would stay, for at least another few minutes. Yuuri leaned back against the bench, watching his eyelashes flutter into view, and then the blackness that followed. Thoughts swirled in the darkness of his closed lids, and his heartbeat calmed, and he felt sleep enveloping him. 

"Yuuri." 

The voice woke him, Yurri jumped, and it was suddenly cold again. 

"Victor." He felt his heartbeat agitate; he turned to look. A soft, strange sadness swelled in his chest at the sight of his coach standing to his side, hands buried in the pockets of his coat, a small, smug smile cast across his face. 

"Sorry, did I keep you waiting?" Victor asked, leaning back on his heels. 

Yuuri clasped his numb, frostbitten hands in in his lap. "No, not really," he lied. He wanted to cry, and he didn't know why. 

"Oh, alright." Victor said nothing then, and turned his head to look upon the hill. Yuuri followed his gaze, silent. There were less lights now than there were before- they ran slowly along the street. The lights began to blur, his head hazy. Green and red lights became fuzzy. 

"Yuuri." 

Victor was suddenly in front of him. "Why are you crying?" 

Yuuri blinked, his face blank. He raised his hand to his own cheek, it was wet. Victor moved slowly, placed his hands just above Yuuri's jaw, his thumbs wiping at the tears under his eyes. "Don't cry," he murmured. 

Yuuri breathed in shakily, looking past Victor and over the hill. His head ached. He wanted to lay in the frost beside Victor and sleep and never wake. He took another strained breath. _What is wrong? Why are you crying? ___

The skater looked back at his Victor, who had his cheeks cupped in his warm hands; his face was concerned. _How are your hands so warm? ___

"Please," Yuuri whispered, his voice caught in his throat. "Stay here with me." A chuckle escaped Victor's throat, and he nodded, a soft, sad smile gracing his lips. 

Wrapped in Victor's arms, his warmth enveloping Yuuri's cold body, a hollowness in his chest, they watched the lights. 

Minutes passed. The lights slowed. The cars drove past and didn't return. Yuuri's head pounded with a thought, intruding. A thought like this never left with the lights. 

"Victor," he whispered. There was a sadness, a shakiness in his voice, like he knew the answer. "Is there something wrong with you?" 

He received no response. 

He turned his head to the street. One or two cars lingered on the street. Their lights blurred together. Yuuri's chest caved. 

"Victor," he cried, his voice choked. "What's happened? 

The light of the cars hesitated. 

Yuuri waited. 

Victor closed his eyes. He took Yuuri's hand in his and raised it to the dull glow of the streetlamp. There, Yuuri's ring gleamed golden. 

Victor, staring solemnly, and Yuuri, apprehensively at the rings on both of their hands. And Victor's breath warm on Yuuri's ear, he whispered. "This was a promise." 

Yuuri stared at his hand, held by Victor's. 

"This was a promise we made to each other, Yuuri. That we'd be together for eternity, wasn't it?" 

Yuuri swallowed tears. "Yeah." 

"Do you think either of us will ever be able to say we regretted making this promise?" 

"No." 

Victor tensed for a second. 

His coach lowered Yuuri's hand, turning him around to sit on his knees, between Victor's legs. Victor's grave expression didn't change. Yuuri trembled from the cold, from the fear, from the look on Victor's face. 

"Will you believe me when I say that I love you?" 

Yuuri shook, shoulders shrugged to his ears, tears spilling from his eyes, his heart beating enough for the both of them. He sobbed. 

Victor looked at him, a horrible sadness in his eyes. Yuuri's hand quivered, Victor's was steady. 

He let him cry. 

"Yuuri." 

He looked up, face red, and Victor gave him a sad, tender smile. And, leaned over, pressing his soft lips to Yuuri's. 

Yuuri softened instantly, and reached his other hand to cup Victor's cheek, as if he wanted all he could have of this moment; he was longing for the moment to save him, hold him in a warm embrace like a promise. 

The separated, finally, Victor still holding tight to Yuuri, and Yuuri still to Victor, his eyes sealed shut, the warm embrace of the moment still lingered in the darkness behind his eyelids and he didn't want to open them for the fear of losing what he had left. 

"I love you," Victor murmured, head low, his grip on Yuuri's arm tight. "Can you say it back?" 

"I love you," Yuuri whispered, chest swelling as the words slipped off of his tongue. 

_I love you. ___

They sat for hours, it seemed, arms wrapped around each other, the words they shared echoing endlessly in their minds. Yuuri never opened his eyes, and neither of them said anything else. 

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Hours later, Yuuri woke to a grey sky, a bitter cold in the wind that ruffled his hair and blew through his hollow chest. Victor wasn't there. 

He rose from the bench, his back stiff, his cheeks dry with the tears he cried last night. He shuddered as a gust of wind blew through him, his scarf fluttering behind him, and he realized that he couldn't quite remember why he had been crying. 

Yuuri sat down, rubbing his temples- his head ached, badly. He retrieved his phone from his pocket and stared at the time, displayed on the screen- it was early morning. And just below the time, his notifications displayed two missed calls from an unrecognized number. 

The wind rushed at his face, and he licked his cracked lips, anxiety rising in his stomach as Yuuri raised the phone to his ear, listening to the message left. 

He bit his lip. He looked up. 

_Katsuki Yuuri? You are Nikiforov Victor's fiancé? We're very sorry to bother you, but we must inform you of Victor's death. ___

The grey sky caved in. 

Yuuri's body froze, stiff, cold, on that bench, as ambulance lights- the very same ones from the night before- flashed through his head. The lights, belonging to the ambulance that carried a body away from the scene, _Victor's body. ___

_He was in a crash last night at 09.21 PM., and he died promptly at 10.36 PM.. We're very sorry. ___

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Victor was there that night. 

He had moved Yuuri's ear from his chest the moment his heart stopped beating. 

He said goodbye to Yuuri in his dream, last night. 

_I love you. Can you say it back? I love you. ___

**Author's Note:**

> whew thank god it's finished
> 
> look at that!! first fanfiction on ao3!! who would've a thought it would be about gay ice skaters
> 
> anyway! sorry for the sad and the death and all that but thank you so so much for supporting this fic by taking the time to read! please feel free to bookmark or kudos or comment, wink wink-- or you could share this with your friends so you can bond over your suffering
> 
> also feel free to tell me if there are any mistakes or anything i can improve on!
> 
> thank you for reading!
> 
> kisses! xoxo


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